26 March 2014


     I am known by all my friends and relations for being very shy. My mom once asked me is shyness is a choice or if it's something that can be overcome. Well, it's certainly not a choice. I don't know why some people are shy and some aren't. It's in their nature, I guess.
     It seems like lots of people assume that if you're shy, you don't like people, or at least don't like strangers. All I have to say to this is, um.....no. There is a distinct difference between not liking strangers and not liking to talk to strangers.
     You're in a room full of strangers and none of them are talking to you. What do you do? Well, an extrovert would probably introduce himself, start a conversation, and get on with life. A shy person would more likely open a book and try to shut out the noise.
     A random person sits by you and starts talking to you. What do you do then? A shy person would answer questions put to him, maybe offer a little personal information gratis (if the stranger is lucky), and go back to his own thoughts.
     The thing about being shy is that, for me, I have a subconscious assumption that random people don't really care what I think. Someone can come up to me and ask me questions, but I don't automatically think, hey, this person wants to be my friend. I think, this person is being polite. I wouldn't want to burden a complete stranger with all sorts of facts about me for which the person couldn't possibly have a care. People have their own problems to deal with. Being shy is, to me, more of a "why go out of my way to talk to people who probably won't care" than a "strangers are scary" disposition.
     Shyness is probably rooted in pride. You don't see the benefit of making a new friend. You don't think it's worth your time to make a change in your social circle.
     Then again, shyness could be rooted in humility. You don't see why someone would want to bother getting to know you. You wonder whether anyone actually wants to hear what you have to say.
     Sometimes, people seem to act as if being an introvert is some kind of personality disorder and should be fixed. But that's definitely not true. It's as simple as this: extroverts refuel, or gain energy, by being with people, talking to people, interacting with people. Introverts refuel or gain energy by being alone, taking a walk, reading a book. It's very hard for someone on one side of the spectrum to see how people at the opposite side can do it. I, for one, can't imagine not being drained of energy after a day with my friends. But that doesn't change the fact that I love being with them.
     I enjoy being an introvert. I can't imagine not being one. But it's good that I have plenty of family members and friends who are extroverts. It helps me see the world their way.
     It's a whole different universe, on the other side of the social spectrum.
     Interesting, nonetheless.



  1. Interesting post B! I recently figured out when my shyness kicks in. When I'm teaching, for example, I'm not shy at all--most of my students think I'm an extrovert--yet when I'm at a party I'm quiet in a corner or talking to the couple people I know. So for me if I know the "role" I have to play I can do it well, but if it's a general sort of social meet-and-greet it scares me to death. Is it like that for you a bit too?

  2. I'M ON BOTH SIDES OF THE SPECTRUM!! :O i love talking to strangers, but i also love taking walks alone!

  3. Hm... I don't know, Claud! I think I'm probably shy-er than you anyway, but it's true that sometimes not so much. But generally, it takes me a loooong time to feel comfortable enough around someone to freely talk to them. But I can be pretty crazy around my friends! I realized that I talk to people at Latin class so seldom they thought I was a junior! Ha! And they didn't know Isa and I were sisters, which does make sense.

  4. Eek, I'm shy too! I'm not as shy anymore, I don't think. Like, last year I was super shy and stuff. I think that Skyping with friends has helped, and I'm able to talk to others more easily now.
    But yeah. That's me. xD

  5. I think we all have some of both. Even I have felt shy sometimes!


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