Leaving College

     What a summer! Getting ready to enter a convent feels a bit like planning a wedding. Well, maybe not a wedding, but planning to get married. I am just ready for the preparation process to be over, so I can start my new life!

     I spent the summer on campus, working in the TAC admissions office. It was great to be on campus in the peace and quiet, and to have time to do things I don't normally have time for during the school year. It almost felt like a three-month-long retreat. I was also able to get together with friends before leaving campus for good. It doesn't feel real yet that I'll never be back there, but I'm guessing it'll sink in once I start cloistered life. 

     TAC was a blessing in my life in so many ways. On the academic side, of course, college was amazing. I spent two years reading and thinking in company with others who were reading and thinking, and for a temperament like mine, that's a little slice of Heaven. But beyond the academics, there was so much more that I learned from college, about God, myself, others, the Church...the list goes on. And I met people who have had a profound and lasting influence on me as a person.

     And, of course, if I hadn't gone to TAC I would never have even thought of visiting the Norbertine sisters! I can't credit TAC with my knowing about them at all, but I can credit it with making me actually notice them. One of our on-campus chaplains is a Norbertine, and we've had others visit now and then, which makes a strong presence for a little-known order. (Have I ever mentioned the beautiful variety of chaplains we have? -- A diocesan priest, a Jesuit, a Dominican, and a Norbertine, all living with us and being our spiritual fathers.) In addition to that, campus is within easy driving distance of the sisters' monastery in Tehachapi, which is really what made visiting them feasible before the beginning of sophomore year. And again at Easter, and a couple of times this summer. 

     It's funny, because as indecisive as I am, I never once wavered in my decision to go to TAC (which, by the way, I made when I was nine years old). I'd often wondered why I was so certain about that one aspect of my life, and discovering my vocation to the Norbertine order gave me the answer. God put me in the perfect position to be open and available to receive His call. I would never have come to California otherwise, and now I'll be spending the rest of my life there. So nothing was an accident, or a weird fluke. The Holy Spirit drew my heart west before I realized what was happening.

     Saying goodbye to my family this summer was really hard, and saying goodbye to school was hard too. Especially right now that the school year has already begun, and my friends are telling me about their new classes and tutors, there is a bit of a feeling of being left out. I think that'll go away once I get settled at the monastery, though. I'm "left out" now, but soon I will be included in something greater. This in-between period is weird, but I guess that happens with any transition.

     Anyway, it was a wonderful and prayerful summer, and I really am ready for my entrance, with apprehensions about it only coming up occasionally. I know God's got me, and so does my confirmation saint, St. Therese, who was also a cloistered nun! If she can do it, so can I, with her prayers. And a lot of other people's prayers.

On-Campus Beauty

I live inside a postcard from God.

Sophomore Year

     Hello, world! I’m Maria, a sophomore at Thomas Aquinas College, and that means I spend every minute of every day either in class, at work, at Mass, or studying! Sounds nice, huh? It is, but the lack of free time/sleep really gets to you. Which is why, on Christmas break, I am enjoying an abundance of free time and sleep. And I have time to write a blog post.

     Sophomore year is crazy. Everyone says it’s the hardest year at TAC, and that seems about right to me. The step up from freshman year, in terms of both workload and content, is huge. For instance, we’ve gone from reading ten pages of the Gospel of Luke for a theology class to reading 60 pages of St. Augustine’s arguments against the Pelagians and wondering if predestination takes away free will. We’ve gone from naming the Ten Categories in philosophy to arguing about whether chance exists and analyzing Aristotle’s deceptively concise definition of motion in the Physics (with little help from the Coughlin translation). 150-page seminar readings, which were horrifying and infrequent last year, are now the expected norm. It’s a ridiculous amount of work, and there’s little payoff at this point.

     But I love it. There’s something exhilarating about getting into the nitty-gritty of the intellectual life and literally devoting all your time to your studies. It feels medieval, in a way. You really get to know what the vocation of Student—with a capital S—entails. The human mind is incredible, and the capacity of an average 19-year-old girl to understand and retain thousands of pages’ (and years’) worth of knowledge is incredible.

     As we are finished with first semester finals, part of me feels like we’ve hardly learned anything. But that’s because we’ve finally begun to wade into the waters of the truth, and now we’re realizing just how big the ocean is. How can our 90-minute discussions of a few paragraphs of Aristotle’s Physics, or a few lines of St. Thomas’ Latin, get us anywhere, in the grand scheme of things? Well, you’ve got to start somewhere. And, in a way, you have to forget about the size of the ocean in order to have courage to step into the water. It’s going to be a long journey—a lifetime long, or more—but that is all the more reason to get started.

     This life is not for everyone. That is evident, now that we’ve begun it in earnest, in how many people we’ve lost from our class this year. None of us really knew what we’d be getting into when we came back to campus after the summer, and I think none of us can say we were pleasantly surprised. We’ve lost the bright-eyed enthusiasm of freshman year but don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel like the upperclassmen do. But you learn to keep going, because the end goal of all your lost sleep and eyestrain and scribbled pages and chalk drawings is worth the suffering involved in reaching it. No one said it would be easy. If we want the truth, we have to work for it. We have to desire it with a persistent, almost foolhardy desire that doesn’t let us give up before we’ve reached it. The more we learn, the more we realize we don’t know, and that’s a good thing. Anything which leads us to greater dependence on God is a good thing on some level. Participating in this vocation of Student, and knowing that every time I open my City of God or practice a prop or do a science lab, I am doing God’s will, is a difficult and beautiful way to live life. As Pope St. John Paul II put it, "Study is an expression of the unquenchable desire for an ever deeper knowledge of God, the source of light and all human truth." (Vita Consecrata, 98)

     They say that “sophomore” means “wise fool”. Typically that isn’t a compliment. But there may be some wisdom involved in realizing how much of a “fool” you are—how much you don’t know. And that, it seems to me, is what sophomore year is all about.

My Favorite Readings of Freshman Year

In college, we read a lot of amazing books, from science experiments to tragic plays to Sacred Scripture. In this post I'm going to share, in no particular order, some of my favorite readings from freshman year.

1. The book of Ezekiel

     For freshman theology, we read the entire Bible throughout the year. I enjoyed it as much as I expected to - maybe more - but I loved certain books of the Bible far more than I thought I would. Most of the books of the prophets were great, filled with solemn pronouncements and the various anecdotes so familiar to us. The book of Ezekiel was a whole different experience. Of course, I knew a few of the things that occurred in Ezekiel beforehand, but I had definitely never read it straight through before. It felt a lot more like reading Revelation than the other prophetic books, with all of Ezekiel's strange and disturbing visions. I didn't actually like reading it all that much, but our class discussions on Ezekiel were out of this world. 

     We focused especially on chapter 16, which is a rebuke of Israel for her faithlessness in view of all God has done for her. The imagery of a virgin bride turned harlot, which occurs in countless places throughout the Old Testament, here holds a unique bitterness, a tone reminiscent of a jilted lover. The author details how God brought up Israel to be a beautiful bride and adorned her with finery, but she turned away from Him and sold her beauties in sordid places. The comparison of Israel's sins with those of notorious cities such as Sodom and Gomorrah is harsh to the point of damning: "You have committed more abominations than they, and have made your sisters appear righteous by all the abominations that you have committed." (Ezekiel 16:51, NRSVCE) 

     One of the themes we brought up all year in theology was identity (I actually wrote my first semester final about it), so in Ezekiel 16 we talked about the repercussions Israel's sin has on her identity as the Beloved of God, as belonging to Him. If marriage is a choice to forever be identified with another person, a kind of renouncement of one's identity, then adultery and harlotry are forceful rejections of that identity. Sins of infidelity are a selfish severing of one's identity from that of one's spouse, thus losing a sense of self-identification. Israel has lost who she really is in turning away from God, and only returning to Him will restore her true "personhood". All sin, really, is this kind of rejection of our identity as belonging to God. When we sin, we turn away from who we are and seek to make for ourselves a new, autonomous identity. And since we are nothing without God, it never works. 

     Despite all this railing against Israel's harlotry, Ezekiel 16 ends with an affirmation of God's continuing fidelity and mercy. "I will establish my covenant with you, and you shall know that I am the Lord," it says, "in order that you may remember and be confounded, and never open your mouth again because of your shame, when I forgive you all that you have done, says the Lord God." (Ezekiel 16:62-63, NRSVCE). Nothing that Israel can do, not even this most abominable of sins, can stop God from loving her as His own, and He is willing to re-establish His covenant with her again and again, as many times as she repents and turns back to Him. There is no vindictiveness in this jilted lover; only deep and unutterable mercy. 

     These are only a few of the things we discussed in our two fabulous classes on Ezekiel. Since I don't have my Bible with all its notes in front of me, I'm sure I've left out a good deal. But here is a taste of why I loved freshman theology so much!

2. Aristotle's Posterior Analytics

     Yes, I was one of the few who thoroughly enjoyed our voyage through formal logic in freshman philosophy. I really like reading Aristotle, actually. His writing is dense, but he explains things in the same way that I think about things, so it is easy going for me. After going through all the valid and invalid syllogisms in the Prior Analytics, here we finally arrived at the real thing: unqualified scientific knowledge, and how to obtain it through demonstration from first principles. I wrote 1500 words on demonstration for my philosophy paper (it happened to be my favorite paper I wrote all year), so I could go on and on, but I will spare you. Suffice to say that I loved going through Aristotle's exposition of demonstration and its necessity for scientific knowledge. All this experience of logic really makes me aware of people's arguments and what makes them valid or invalid. (Shoutout to Mr. Oleson, too, for giving us two non-syllabus classes on formal and informal fallacies!)

3. The Oresteia

     The first set of plays we read in seminar was Aeschylus' Oresteian trilogy, made up of Agamemnon, Libation Bearers, and Eumenides. Back in eighth grade, the Oresteia was my first introduction to Greek tragedy, and it has held something special for me since then. The plays are about the homecoming of Agamemnon from the Trojan War, how his wife Clytamnestra murdered him, and how his son Orestes returned from abroad to avenge his father's death by killing his mother. The main theme of this trilogy is a certain family curse which was called down upon Agamemnon's father, Atreides, after he committed an atrocious crime against his friend. As the actual substance of the curse is never explicitly stated, much of our discussion was taken up by looking at the clues and figuring out what the curse was.
     There is a disturbing cycle of guilt contained in the plot of the trilogy: before setting out to war, Agamemnon sacrificed his own daughter, Iphigeneia, to appease Artemis, who otherwise would have sent unfavorable winds and not let them sail safely to Troy. Clytamnestra, later, kills Agamemnon on the grounds that he killed her daughter, which seems justifiable, though whether that was her only motive is highly questionable. Then Orestes, who is heralded by the Chorus as a kind of "savior from the outside", returns home and avenges his father by killing his mother. The Furies turn on him in the final play, condemning him as a matricide. The horrific cycle of killing a family member to avenge the somewhat-justified dmurder of another family member thus goes on for far too long before the gods step in and the Furies are sated. This, so my seminar thought, was the curse called down upon Atreides after he forced his friend to unwittingly eat his own children. It is a haunting and truly tragic chain of events, in which no character is either totally wicked or totally justified in his actions. One of my seminar tutors, our president Dr. McLean, brought up at the end of our discussion how this tragic cycle of guilt and need for a "savior from outside" to make things right sounds a lot like the state of mankind in need of a Redeemer. It just goes to show that the greatest minds of the ancient times, even before God's revelation, had some inkling of what was to come--and why it was necessary.

4. Gregor Mendel's experiments on genetics
     Natural Science was definitely the hardest class for me in freshman year. Despite it being the most intense and lively class for my already wild and combative section, I didn't find the subject material very engaging. That is, until we read Mendel. I have always been interested in genetics, and reading Mendel's own account of his experiments on his thousands of pea plants was fascinating. His simple method of observing and opening every single pea pod to record its characteristics yielded some remarkable results: probability ratios of offspring genetics, ratios of hybrids to constants, and proportions of how offspring would actually look compared to its genetic makeup (because of the tendency of the dominant trait to always manifest when present). It was amazing how, when he had enough samples (tens of thousands), the numbers he counted by observation matched up almost perfectly with the numbers he predicted by his probability ratios. Mendel's discoveries are still relevant today, as the quiet little botanist monk is now known as the father of genetics.
     Reading Mendel's report, I was so enthusiastic about his successful experiments that I explained it all to several people, including my suite mate Emily, whose section had the misfortune of skipping the Mendel reading due to schedule constraints. I had never experienced such excitement about natural science, and it was really a treat to participate in our two class discussions on Mendel's work.

5. Thucydides' History of the Peloponnesian War
     Thucydides was one of the two things we read in seminar that effectively killed almost all freshman enthusiasm. Our three weeks spent on him involved 150-200 page readings of dry historical accounts every week, which turned even finishing the seminar readings into a rare occurrence, let alone liking them. To be honest, I'm not really sure why I did like Thucydides so much. The military aspect of his history (it was about a war, after all) did not make it appealing, and the speeches interspersed between the accounts of battles were interminable and almost worse than the battles. But his style of retelling the events of the war kept it interesting for me, in large part because it was reminiscent for me of learning ancient history in elementary school, when my mom read to us aloud from A Child's History of the World. I understood the military maneuvers and strategies much better than I expected to, and found myself well able to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of the various decisions the generals and rulers made. My favorite part of the history was when the Athenians decided, against Nicias'--and Pericles'-- express advice, to try to conquer Sicily, which failed horribly. (As a side note, I was hardcore on the side of Sparta the whole time.) Another fun aspect of Thucydides was that afterward we read Aristotle's Rhetoric, which gave us new knowledge with which to analyze the numerous speeches in Thucydides, including Pericles' famous funeral oration.

These, among other things, were some of my favorite readings of my freshman year of college. It was an amazing year, as I can't stress enough. What an opportunity God has given me!

Living with a Dress Code

     Telling others about Thomas Aquinas College, many people are, shall we say, appalled when they hear of our strict class dress code. If you don't know, our dress code is as follows: for class, Mass, and meals, boys must wear collared shirts, dress pants, and dress shoes; girls must wear skirts which fall below the knee, sleeves which cover the shoulders, and necklines no lower than four fingers from the collarbone. Sounds excessive, right? "Sends the message that girls can't learn while wearing pants," you might be thinking. I won't pretend it doesn't feel burdensome and a little archaic at times. But the truth is, having everybody dressed so well does a lot to improve the atmosphere, dominated as it is by college students with no pretensions to put-together-ness. It makes us hold ourselves and each other to higher standards.

      (Disclaimer: the following are my own thoughts, and not the official reasons for TAC having the rules it does. I do not speak on the College's behalf.)
     I think the characteristic quality of people my age is laziness. At this time of life, we have so much potential to do whatever we want with our lives. The main reason many people don't reach this potential is simply not being willing to work for it. Everything worthwhile must be worked for: if we were just handed all the good things of this life as children, what pleasure would we derive from them? This rule holds true for, I would argue, every aspect of life. What you achieve is directly proportional to the amount of effort you put into it. But the fact is that most people my age don't have a good work ethic and have no desire to work for what they want. This attitude leads to bad grades, slovenliness, carelessness about morals, and a host of other evils.
     How, then, to fix this generational disorder? One way is to mandate effort. It sounds weird, but if you are required to put effort into something, it will get you used to doing so, even in non-compulsory situations. This is the beauty of the "fake it til you make it" philosophy. And that's one of the things that a strict dress code achieves. We have to put effort into a seemingly small aspect of life--the very clothes we wear--and as a consequence we find it less taxing to put effort into a more important thing, like our studies.
     But that is only one of the benefits of having a dress code. Another is mindset. Like it or not, no one can deny that the mental disposition of a person while wearing sweatpants and fuzzy socks is not the same as the mental disposition of the same person wearing a business suit. Occasions for which we dress well tend to have more import, and thus we are more engaged in whatever we are doing. One thing our dress code has taught me is to take things more seriously. Dressing in such a way as to be better engaged helps us acknowledge the gravity of what we do in acquiring an education. At TAC, we place a great emphasis on education as a serious pursuit of the Truth. This pursuit is essential to education--how can we pretend to any kind of knowledge or wisdom if we are not constantly seeking out what is good, true, and beautiful? And if dressing well aids us in this search, we have little excuse to set it aside. As my friend Emily put it, our dress code is "our way of paying respect to what we set out to find in every class--the truth."
     Another aspect of this discussion is paying attention to how we perceive ourselves and how others perceive us. As human beings, we depend on sense perception for our knowledge of the world around us, and sight is one of the principle senses we rely on. Because of this, we tend to make judgments about things and people based on appearance. This is not altogether good, but is also not necessarily a failing; someone's character is often manifested in their mannerisms, body language, and personal attire choices. It can often be an identifying feature--think of how easy it is to spot American tourists in foreign countries because of our distinctive habits of dress and mannerisms. It is a gift to have such an impactful way of expressing ourselves in our appearance, but it is one that ought to be used properly, as with all gifts. And it should be noted that this can sometimes work in the other direction, too: dressing better may positively affect my self-image.
     If my dress can have this much weight for my perceived person--and perhaps in who I really am, to a certain extent--then I ought to take my habits of dress seriously. If I want to be construed as a classy, put-together person, worthy of respect, then I should dress in a classy, put-together manner that is worthy of respect. Every human being has inherent dignity as a child of God, and we should dress in accordance with that dignity. Dressing well serves as a reminder, to ourselves and to others, of our value and our right to be respected.
     All this is common sense, and is reflected in TAC's custom of dressing with modesty and some degree of formality in classroom and social settings. Living with this custom has made me more aware of the dignity of myself and others, and of the importance of my education. Yes, it can be a pain at times, but it is well worth it.

Summertime!

Well hello, world!
It's been a long time since I sat down and wrote a blog post!
     Freshman year has come and gone, and I am a little in shock looking back and seeing how fast it went. So much has happened in the past year, but it hardly feels like any time has passed! I have learned a lot about God and the world and other people and myself. I have met countless new and beautiful people, and thought of and talked about things I never thought of or talked about before. I got to experience the true Catholic life--living every day according to the liturgical calendar--and learned to value the Mass and the Sacraments in a new and better way. I read dozens of ancient books written by great and thoughtful men, and discussed them with great and thoughtful tutors and classmates. I had the new and different experience of meeting people who know only me, and not my whole family (which is weird for a big-family Catholic homeschooler). I was reminded again and again of the hugeness of the world and the littleness of my own experience of it. I learned to appreciate so many small things I took for granted before: a breathtaking view, a quiet library, good food, laughing with friends, saying good-night to my family, dancing to loud music late at night, kneeling in the still chapel while the sunlight slants in through the windows high above my head. I was unambiguous about my excitement for college before. But nothing could have prepared me for how absolutely wonderful it has been so far. It exceeded my expectations in every way.
     And now I am spending a quiet summer working and resting before the craziness of sophomore year. It is such a strange feeling to be "visiting" home and have school be the place I go back to at the end of break. It certainly makes me want to enjoy this summer as much as possible. It's like a three-month retreat for my brain. And heaven knows my brain needs it! Being home from college gives me an opportunity to look back on the year and realize how truly amazing of a year it was. And to prepare for next year, so I can learn even more and make even better habits and friends and memories. The past year has really motivated me to simplify my life--to own less stuff, make fewer plans, and focus only on what is important: God and my family and my friends.
     Such is my frame of mind going into this summer, and such hopefully will still be my frame of mind going into sophomore year. With the grace of God and the help of the saints, we journey on upward!

Gratitude

     It's been a crazy time, that's for sure. TAC decided to end the semester early, so we have finals week once we get back in January. While none of the buildings on campus were damaged by the fire, there is a lot to do still, including replacing the food that went bad, getting power back, and clearing out trees that were burned. I flew home early once we got the OK to do so, but some of my friends drove back to campus to grab their books and clothes. Several of them said everything surrounding campus is black and destroyed--it's really a miracle campus is okay.
     It's definitely a different Christmas break than I was expecting, what with not having any of my belongings and having an extra week of break, but it sure is nice to be at home and sleep a lot. My brain is slowly adjusting to the lack of constant California sun and the central time zone. In the meantime, I have time for things like knitting, baking, and watching TV! Crazy.
     So many people helped me in so many ways during the fires. To name the principal ones:
     Thank you to Tahlia, who graciously and calmly drove a very full car off campus that first night.
     Thank you to Leslie, who let us use her car, and to Marya, who drove us from Ventura to Ojai in Leslie's car.
     Thank you to Dominique and Lizzy, who hosted us in their adorable house in Ojai until we decided to leave for a safer area. Thank you for being our moms for those few days!
     Thank you to Mrs. Hurtado, who drove through burning areas to pick us up and take us to her house, and who hosted me for the rest of the week and drove me to the airport.
     Thank you to the several people who went into my room on campus and got the essential things to ship to me in South Dakota. You are lifesavers!
     As you can see, I have a lot to be thankful for.
     Times of crisis like this really show you what kind of people people are. And all I can really say is, I chose wonderful friends. They all stayed calm and cheerful and practical during the chaos. You learn how much you love everyone when you're in danger like that. We have an incredible community at TAC. I wouldn't change it for anything.

     As a side note, one of our chaplains told me to meditate on my death on the first Sunday of Advent. It's been a pretty prominent theme during this Advent, with everything that happened. I'm guessing that's not what he meant. :)

Fires and Finals

Christmas break is right around the corner! We put a mini Christmas tree in our room for decoration. 

We also decorated Maddie's room to surprise her when she got back from Massachusetts. 

Just the other day, campus looked like this....

And then, on Monday night, it looked like this. 

     A huge fire started at the campground right next to campus. Campus got evacuated and we all drove to a church in Ventura. Then Ventura got evacuated, and the group I was in drove to the house of some alumni in Ojai. Late into the night, we weren't sure if we were going to get told to leave Ojai too, so we drove to Goleta, CA (near Santa Barbara) at 3am. We spent a couple days hanging out in Goleta until Emily's mom picked us up and now I'm at her house in Perris. On the way, we passed by some sketchy smoke-filled areas. 

     This fire is still 0% contained so far and has ravaged through 96,000 acres last I heard. They are calling it the Thomas Fire, which we don't really appreciate, since we didn't start it. Actually, campus is totally fine, even though everything surrounding it is burnt up and there's no power. So the authorities are trying to get us all back on campus in time to have finals next week. 

Marya put it well.

     Yeah, they still want to have finals. We've been without our books since Monday and had no classes, but I guess we could still take exams, right?

     We are all eager to get back to campus--and our possessions. It's been a rough few days, but we're counting our blessings. You don't realize how much you love everyone until times like these. I'm just happy I'll be heading home to SD soon, where there is no chance of fires. Until then, we're chilling with Emily's tiny dogs and waiting to hear from TAC.

Section Dinner

First of all, I have a Public Service Announcement: my section (Section 1) is the best freshman section at TAC this year. It's objective.
Now that you know that, I'll recount a fun thing my section did this week...section dinner! Each freshman section goes to dinner at the house of one of their tutors, co-hosted by another tutor. We got two of our favorite tutors for section dinner, and it was such a fun night! It was really nice to be at a house again, eat homemade food, play with little kids, and just relax. We love hanging out together. On the way back to campus, we blasted Christmas music. And later that night, my choir sang for All-Night Adoration, which we have every First Friday.
Now we have a relaxing weekend, with our theology paper due in two weeks. We had no classes on All Saints Day (perks of Catholic school), so we're in a bit of an academic lull, which is nice. Every day it gets better. It's crazy how fast freshman year is going! What a blessing to be here.

General Life Update

Hello, yes, I'm still alive.

College is absolutely insane, but in a good way. I'm loving every minute of it. 

I love my section and my tutors. Here are my classes:
Math (four times week)
Language (three times a week)
Philosophy (twice a week)
Theology (twice a week)
Natural Science (twice a week)
Literature Seminar (once a week)
In addition, I have 13 hours a week of work-study in the kitchen and sing in two choirs. It's a lot of work, but I love it.
This upcoming week is Don Rags, which we have instead of midterms. It's when your tutors sit down together and evaluate how you're doing as a student. I'm excited because I think it will improve my section a lot, since we will know what we need to work on individually. Another nice thing is Don Rags means we get three days of no class!
We have four fabulous chaplains on campus, which makes it easy to get to Mass, Confession, etc. There is a Dominican, a Jesuit, a Norbertine, and a diocesan priest. They are all wonderful to talk to and such a beautiful presence on our campus.
When people ask me what I like best about college, its hard to answer, because there isn't really any aspect I don't like. It's surreal to be so at peace with a decision I've made.

Well, that's all I'll say for now. Gotta get back to studying.

Weddings, Concerts, and Future Plans

Here I am, sitting on my bed under a blanket and drinking decaf earl grey with whole milk. The floor of my room is littered with suitcases, one full, two half-full, and one empty. Also a drawer from my dresser is on the floor, don't ask about that. Packing is an ordeal when you're flying to college.

I'm on my computer, trying to put my last few days of wifi to good use. Because, you guessed it, there ain't no wifi at TAC. *collective gasp* So naturally, blogging won't happen as much during the school year.

I will definitely try to keep up on posts, especially since I'll have lots of grand new photos of California life to make you all jealous in the winter. But, as I'll be in an actual class schedule (first time for everything, kids), skipping off to the mailroom to hook up to ethernet will probably be seldom.

Anyway, my current plan is to post at least once a month. We'll see how that goes. For now, here are some recent photos!

We went to the wedding of a family friend on Saturday. It was a really fun day! 

Yes, I took off my shoes as soon as was socially acceptable

The Pepinos came up for the wedding and we did a little of the sculpture walk downtown between Mass and the reception. You probably remember 5-year-old Josie from Isabel's wedding!

Last weekend we drove up to Aberdeen for Tessie's honor choir concert. It's so great to pass the honor choir baton! She will have a great junior year!

And today was the last day of my summer job! It would have been a lot less fun working as a research assistant for Dad's center if Susannah hadn't been working alongside me all summer! We kept each other awake and shared snacks and commiserated over Google Scholar and Excel. What more could you ask for?

T-minus three days until I'm a California girl!!

Why I'm Going To A Catholic College

     One more week, and I'll be calling a small room in a mission-style building with a courtyard my home. Every day, I will walk across the well-watered lawn to the St. Joseph Commons for my meals. I will spend time reading in the St. Bernardine of Siena Library, and I will take classes in St. Augustine and St. Gladys halls, and study science in Albertus Magnus hall. I will walk the few hundred yards from my dorm to the big chapel which sits at the head of the quad, overlooking all of campus, for Mass. Surrounding the campus, I will be able to see reddish-brown mountains smattered with green plants. Every night at 11:00, the gate to my dorm's courtyard will lock, and I will be inside, getting ready for bed or studying or hanging out. I will sleep in my small room, in the small dorm, on the small campus of my small college. My small, Catholic college.

     What made me choose a Catholic college? I'm already Catholic; is it really necessary to go to a school where nearly everyone else is, too? What difference does it make, if all I'm looking for is a college degree?

     If that were all I was looking for, I wouldn't be going to a private, Catholic school. I definitely wouldn't be going to Thomas Aquinas College.

     When I began my (albeit very brief) college search, I had three requirements: the school had to be a liberal arts school, it had to be small, and it had to be Catholic. Obviously, these requirements would be different for someone interested in a different field of study. But for me, choosing a college was about more than just the quality of the academics (although that was important, too). When you begin college, you're 18 years old, just starting out life as an independent person, making your own choices and building your own lifestyle. How much would environment affect that lifestyle, that person you become? A lot, I would think. You need a community of people you can trust, and who trust you. You need an environment that will support your morality and your Faith. Because at the tender age of eighteen, it would be all too easy to forget your upbringing and abandon your Faith, if you were formed in the wrong environment.

     And that's really a lot of what college is, to me. It's a time of formation. It's a time when you solidify your values and dig deeper into the truths you're passionate about. You learn about the world, about your field, and about yourself.

     In my opinion, there's too much at stake here to spend four years any old where.

     And I'll tell you something else. Discerning your vocation is hard. No matter how much effort you put into it, sometimes God wants you to be patient and wait for an answer. But in order to hear the answer when it comes, you've got to be listening. You've got to be in the habit of listening.

     This past year, I've come to realize a reason I'm so glad I'm going to TAC; a reason I didn't even consider when committing to it. At TAC, I can really, truly, intensely continue my discernment. I'll have all the tools necessary, and then some. Daily Mass (my choice of four!), Confession, spiritual direction, a chapel just steps away from where I sleep. And peers who are equally as committed to their Faith. As Sr. Scholastica told me during my visit to the Benedictines in Missouri, TAC is the best place I could be going to discern religious life. And it's no coincidence how many priests and religious have come out of there.

     Anyway, this was a really roundabout and scattered way of saying this: going to a Catholic college is important because the four years of college form you as a person and prepare you for adult life, and  being in a place where virtue and morality and a relationship with God are encouraged and upheld can only be a good thing. College isn't just a degree; it's a starting point, a launch pad.

     Plus, an authentically Catholic lifestyle is the most peace-giving and rewarding thing you can have this side of Heaven.

     I couldn't be more excited to begin the next chapter of my life at Thomas Aquinas College!

5 Things I Learned in Senior Year

Senior year was an adventure. It was a wonderful way to close my high school career. I learned a lot. Including these five things.

1. Traveling alone isn't that bad.
Last July I went alone in an airplane for the first time. I was very anxious, but it ended up being fine. Since then I've flown alone several times, and it gets less stressful every time. Really, flying alone is just boring because you have no one to talk to while you wait. Maybe I'll get better at that part as I fly home for breaks during the school year.

2. Having a marketable skill is really convenient.
Despite my 12+ years of piano lessons, I never expected my musical knowledge to serve me practically. Boy was I wrong. This past year I played piano for assisted living homes, helped out with youth choir at church, began accompanying for Mass, and accompanied for solo contest and honor choir auditions. Turns out, people are willing to pay you pretty nicely if you're decent at playing piano. Who knew? I'm going to see if I can get scheduled to play organ for Mass in college, as the chapel has no piano.

3. People are more willing to help you than you may think. 
Throughout this year, I emailed TAC a lot. Like a lot. Every small question I had, the admissions office would get another email. I expected them to be a little annoyed, especially since some of the things I asked them I could easily have figured out myself. But they were always incredibly courteous and cheerful! This is only one example of what has happened over and over to me. People enjoy being kind if they feel like you really appreciate it. The trick is being kind to them, so they want to be kind to you.

4. You may crave change, but remember to savor your current situation.
I was one of those seniors who got "senioritis". A pretty bad case, in fact. I was so ready to be done with the monotony of high school and move on to new experiences. My family was very patient with my temper tantrums, provoked by sheer restlessness. The two convent retreats I went on really helped me refocus on enjoying high school before it was over. And I did have some fantastic experiences during senior year: helping with youth choir, All-State Chorus, and trips to Chicago and Germany. Looking back, it was a better year than I felt it to be while it was happening. I'm definitely glad I'll be starting college with the new experiences and lessons that senior year gave me.

5. In the end, a lot of things don't really matter. 
It's easy to get caught up in details, fret about the small things, and miss the big picture in life. I am prone to freaking out about little matters and ignoring the things that count. This past year, spending time in voluntary poverty (during my convent visits) and preparing to move away taught me how to take a step back and evaluate my priorities, especially when it comes to possessions. I can safely say that I now pack more lightly, get rid of things more easily, and give things away with less reluctance. Because none of it matters, as long as you've got the Faith, a family, a roof over your head, and food to eat.

Only three more weeks until I embark on a brand-new adventure at Thomas Aquinas College!

STM Youth Choir

     The school year is coming to a close, and that means the end of the religious ed program at St. Thomas More. The youth choir meets every week before religious ed, so they'll be done for the summer, too. I played piano for their rehearsals all year, and now that it's ending I'm realizing how great of an experience it was.
     First of all, the kids are wonderful. Being in a choir is kind of self-selective, and these kids' behavior is an indication of that. The choir includes first- through eighth-graders, and I've never met a bunch more enthusiastic about praising God in song. They sing their hearts out at every rehearsal. They beg to sing certain hymns over and over. They learn new songs faster than most adult choirs.
     It's interesting for me to watch them interact, since I never went to school and don't know what it's like being a kid in public school. There are sets of best friends, close cousins, and siblings who love each other. Someone always has a story to tell or a question to ask. They talk about what they're doing at school, what they're learning in RE, where they're going on vacation. They are a lively bunch of kids, and they have so much joy.
     Musically, too, this experience has helped me. My sight-reading skills have improved quite a bit over the past year, due to sitting down and having to play hymns and part-songs on the spot. The kids don't care how much I mess up, but sometimes they tell me I should practice. (They're always right.) It's nice to work on something, even something little, that isn't part of my actual piano repertoire. And it's nice knowing I'm accompanying a forgiving crowd. Sometimes they ask me to play a solo I'm working on while they aren't singing. When they sing in a circle, they like to watch the hammers strike the keys inside the piano. Spending time with people who are so fascinated by the instrument definitely breaks up the monotony of the practice-lesson-practice cycle.

At their Christmas Program in December--I'm behind the piano.

     I'll miss playing for youth choir. I'll miss the way the kids remember my name and talk to me, even if I don't remember which one they are. I'll miss their exuberance and their willingness to try new things. I hope that, in some small way, I've made a difference in their lives.

Last Choir Concert!

Ah, the end of high school. The end has begun with my last high school choir concert!
Our program:
Zigeunerleben (Gypsy Life) - Robert Schumann
Jamaican Market Place - Larry Farrow
How Can I Keep From Singing - Robert Lowery, arr. Taylor Davis
Bridge over Troubled Water - Paul Simon, arr. Kirby Shaw
Combined piece: Baba Yetu - Christopher Tin

Will post a video when it comes!

Seniors got flowers and gifts.

2016 in Review

The new year is here, and it's time to reflect on the year that just closed. I'll look at the highlight of each month of 2016.

January
In January I got to go to the March For Life, spent 74 hours in a bus next to my best friend, attended Mass in a roadside ditch during a snowstorm, enjoyed sleeping on a gym floor with nothing but a blanket, and most importantly helped make history and gain media attention for the pro-life cause.

February

North Central ACDA Regional Honor Choir was by far my favorite of my honor choir experiences. Dr. Head was an amazing director and over that magical weekend I learned so much about myself as a musician.

March
Sang for four Masses and one Good Friday liturgy over the Easter Triduum. And early Easter meant that when I turned 17, it was no longer Lent!

April
In April BHS choirs went on a trip to Omaha to see Phantom of the Opera live at the Orpheum Theatre. The production was too fabulous for words.

MayMy best friends graduated from high school. Crazy how time goes by.

June
Got to live with Nicole for two weeks while my family traveled around the country going to weddings and getting proposed to. Also, Shakespeare Camp began in late June.

July
TAC Summer Program. I wish I could relive those two weeks exactly how they happened. So happy to be returning there for college next year!

August

South Dakota Honor Choir, though exhausting and a bit much right after TAC, was still an unforgettable musical experience. Good ol' Randy Stenson and the IlluminAltos.

September

After my last Broomtree, I started senior year. Which I wish were already done.

October
Mom and I went to Germany, stayed in a picturesque abbey, ate delicious food, spent time with my now-professed aunt, and witnesses the miracle at the tomb of St. Walburga. So much history. So much Catholic. So much joy.

NovemberNaNoWriMo 2016. Wrote a novel which I changed into a novella after meeting word count quota. Kind of a tragic story but beautiful in its own way. Also, official acceptance from TAC plus a free t-shirt.

December
The twins came home from college and we went on The Bestie Roadtrip. Great music, laughs, conversations, hugs, food, everything. The ultimate road trip.

So yeah, 2016 was pretty cool for my life. I can't wait to see what 2017 brings my way!

Concerts, and concerts, and more concerts.

I was asked to turn pages/help in general with the SDSU choir concert on Sunday. So I spent a good five hours at the PAC, turning pages for accompanists, helping herd choirs in and out of doors, informing musicians of where we were in the program, and playing filler music between songs. They were two really good concerts. I was exhausted at the end.

Then, on Monday was our high school choir concert. My choir sang O Filii et Filiae (Leisring), There Shall A Star (Mendelssohn), White Christmas (arr. Snyder), and He Is Born (arr. Forrest) with Mixed Choir. And then there was the traditional Hallelujah Chorus with combined choir at the end. I think I've finally memorized the alto part of the Hallelujah Chorus...

Tessie wasn't into the whole taking a picture thing...

And THEN, on Wednesday was the youth Christmas program at church. I've been helping with youth choir and I played piano for their songs during the Christmas pageant. They are one cute and enthusiastic bunch of kids, and they did a great job singing. But I am very glad I don't have to play that music anymore.

with Janine and Mikalyn, our buddies!

And with those four concerts in as many days, semester one of senior year is finished. Hallelujah.

(All photos from Mom)

Last Quiz Bowl of the Semester!

Last Monday was our last high school quiz bowl until January. We had a different team than usual, and it was really fun. We won second place!

Things Galore

November always seems to be a busy month. What with NaNoWriMo, quiz bowls, choir rehearsals, standardized tests, and other random events going on, there hasn't been a lot of downtime. Today was a snow day for the high school so we had a relaxed "sweatpants day." The musical, Beauty and the Beast, opened yesterday, but they had to cancel tonight's performance because of the weather. Tessie was glad for the break.
On day 18 of NaNoWriMo, my current word count is 34,287. It's been a pretty steady climb. The most I've written in a day was 4,200-something, so I'm well ahead of the daily quota, but not crazy-ahead (like some of my writing buddies are). This book has definitely been more of a challenge to write than last year's, but I'm hoping the finished product will make it worth it. It's so cool to have time to write books in high school.
We have had three high school quiz bowls this year so far. My team has placed first, second, and third at each one, respectively. There were 46 teams at Monday's, so the competition was heated! The one scheduled for Monday will have 34 teams, so it shouldn't be quite so overwhelming.

Our first-place win in Brookings.

Both our teams at Roosevelt--we got third, our other team got second.

Yesterday we went to the opening night show of BHS's fall musical, Beauty and the Beast. It was a fantastic production, as always. I'm looking forward to going again tomorrow. 

She was such a cute piece of silverware! This is her smile after three performances in one day!

I've dug out the Christmas music books to start practicing for the season, and I'm enjoying it! We have some good repertoire in concert choir, and the Youth Choir Christmas program at church is going to be adorable. Now I just have to learn that music...

Next week is the flood of siblings for Thanksgiving. We're excited to have all seven kids together for the first holiday in two years!